Why should I Have It All?
By- Usha Taneja ‘Utsav”
(This article may seem to be rebellious to some but they should see it from all angles.)
Yes, I am woman. I am daughter. I am sister. I am wife. I am daughter-in-law. I am mother. I am working woman. I am boss. I am much more…
But, am I ‘Myself’?
The answer is “Yes I am”.
How, if I could not ‘Have It All’?
Of course, I could not have it all. That’s why I am ‘Myself’.
The surveys and studies around the world say more than four-fifths of women are stressed. Yeah, they are but why?
Why, because, they want to ‘Have It All’. Obviously, the reason behind stress is the consciousness of having it all under the limited capability of being a human being. A woman, by nature, is physically not that much strong as man is. The nature replete it by providing woman with feministic instincts like beauty, affection, love, patience and the most important the power to regenerate. That’s why the role of a woman is much demanding. The members of ‘Social Bonds’ expect her to be perfect in every role.
The father thinks that his daughter should grow up to be one he can be proud of. The brother likes her to be affectionate. The father-in-law looks her as carrier of his dynasty. The husband is one who expects her to be the most beautiful woman of the world and, at the same time, she should bear children, feed them at her breasts and look after them and their needs all the time. The peak of this expectation reaches when he wants her to continue her job because ‘money’ is also important. This all doesn’t get over here until she keeps herself ‘attractive woman’ for her husband till his last breath.
Oh! Isn’t it too much?
In this life-long process, where is she ‘Herself’?
Isn’t she lost throughout her life?
Yeah, in modern times she has started spending time in beauty parlors and gyms. That is because she is expected to look beautiful. Otherwise, her to-be in-laws and partner can get distracted to some other more beautiful girl or woman.
She watches movies, TV shows, participates in discussions, reads newspapers, meets people because she ‘should be brilliant’.
She goes out. She does jobs. Isn’t it because she needs to earn for the family needs and more for her own financial security? There are infinite examples where women are not earning (means full-time house-wives), do they get regular income which they can spend as they wish, without family members’ inquiries?
And whatsoever is (if it’s her so called freedom), it’s ‘Having It All’ not for herself but for her dear ones. And, very clearly, this is the main reason for her stress in modern times.
Look back, for a while, to our great grandmothers. They were more contended and happier than modern women.
Because there was no felt need of equal status between men and women. As gradually, men started women taken for granted, the equation also got disturbed. This disturbance is falling heavy on social standards. It’s clear that this scenario will never reverse. So, it should be kept in mind that:
“I Can’t Have It All’ for a woman and neither daughter, sister, wife, daughter-in-law or mother ‘can have it all’ for all men in society.